OK, so it was a mistake I made. And then I would think: How many good opportunities was I missing because of saying “no” too often? That default habit of saying “no” all the time was making my life smaller, and seemingly more boring by the year.

Then on the other hand, to certain things, I was saying “yes” too often. This was a challenge as well, because I was getting bogged down. Saying yes to things that weren’t my responsibility. Saying yes to things I had previously tried, and definitely knew weren’t right for me. And saying yes when I had other priorities.

This really hit me when I figured out that these habitual choices were distracting me. There was too much stuff I didn’t really need or want. And then I wasn’t able to say “yes” often enough to the good things which are a priority for me.

What is openness, or what does openness mean?

Many of the skills or habits to manage saying yes and saying no relate with the personality trait of openness. This is because your level of openness measures how often you try new things and experiences, compared to repeating the same old ways.

Are you saying “no” too often? Or is it yes…

So has this ever happened to you? Do you ever consider how many times you miss great opportunities in your life by saying “no” too often?

Or maybe it’s the other way around: Are you saying “yes” too often? But not for the things which are a priority or responsibility right now. A “yes” which is coming too often might be an impulsive habit, without enough consideration of your needs and balance.

So why should you manage your openness? Being in either extreme of openness is risky and dangerous. If you aren’t open enough, you may be missing out good opportunities in your life. In the opposite case, if you’re too open, you’re at risk of harm because of unwise choices.

Who are open-minded people and what is the benefit?

Let’s take a look at what openness is and who open-minded people are. Open-minded people are curious about new things and like to seek innovation. They are willing to be part of new adventures, experiences, and creative endeavors.

Knowing how to manage openness and having enough of it in your life is foundational for your peace, mental well-being, and health. Being open enough to support your important relationships is known to make you happier, healthier, and more satisfied in the long term. (This has been studied and shown in the Harvard Study of Adult Development).

At the same time, we don’t want openness to be out of control. It’s all about finding a balance between opportunity, growth, priorities, and responsibilities.

So perhaps it’s time to balance your wild openness with just a bit of rationality. That can do wonders for your focus and accomplishment in life.

What about closed-minded people?

Meanwhile, individuals with a low level of openness don’t like trying new things. They really prefer to stick to well-known routines. So if you are scoring low in openness, try to bring that score up a little bit.

This is because when you’re too shut out from new experiences, you’re not broadly engaged in life. This eventually leads to a lack of joy and fulfillment.

Consider, when you’re living in your own space all the time and not welcoming any other possibilities, how can you blossom as a person? The right level of new experiences helps you to grow as a person, enriching your life, and improving your fulfillment.

Consider this choice: when opportunity knocks on your door, let it in.

Finding the right balance

When you practice enough openness, your friends, colleagues, and partner will enjoy being with you. They will enjoy engaging with you, much more than if you aren’t open.

This is because they know it’s a pleasure to interact with you. They know you won’t keep shutting them down by saying, “No, that’s not my thing.”

On the other hand, if you are too open, I’d like to ask you to reel it back a little bit. Give it some reasonable boundaries. This is so you’re not engaging in risky behaviors. And because our decisions today are the most powerful way to affect our future.

It all comes together to evaluate the quality of your decision making. For me, I noticed that some decision-making methods improved automatically as I got older, but others didn’t.

So I find it worth considering different decision-making skills. For example, don’t start too many new things at the same time, so you can protect your focus. Or use a pen and paper sometimes to make it easier to evaluate a decision.

The idea here is to maintain a balance: so you are open enough to new experiences, yet also respect your health, body, and reasonable boundaries. Striving for balance and being aware of your openness is the starting point. The result? A fulfilling and joyful life.

What is your answer to openness?

So, what would your answer be if someone asks you to try a new thing right now? Yes or no?

If you are still saying “no” to everything and not trying any new experiences, take a moment to ask yourself why. It’s worth thinking about it for a minute. Try to understand your reasons for a moment.

This is because if you were hurt before or you’re carrying any psychological injury or trauma, you might want to resolve it. This can be as easy as taking a look at it and doing just a bit of constructive work on it.

Take a moment to acknowledge, that event is in the past, and the new outcomes you want to enjoy in your life are totally up to you. With just a little effort, you can let the old stuff go and be more open and engaged in your present life. And then you will enjoy a better level of energy as well.

Evaluate yourself for just a moment

To measure where you are in openness, review the questions above and see what your first self-assessment is. Then, take the Big 5 personality test to get more objective feedback (I suggest this open-source one).

I know the first takes a bit of effort. Yet for your enduring success, and all the benefits we have talked about above, it’s worth it. Perhaps it’s time to try something new. There are lots of good things in life, all waiting for you to receive them.

Overcome your personal fears for something that can benefit you

So you can get better results with your personality, I have linked two videos above. Check them out, because this knowledge will help you accomplish more in your everyday life.

Try out the ideas, and see what your results are. I think you’ll be surprised at how much you can accomplish. And with any of your questions or comments, just email me here: openness (at) elevanation.com.

Wish you all the best.

Start now on your journey and begin the next chapter of your life.

For all the great things your education gave you, they didn’t teach you how to have great work and a fulfilling life. My mission is to teach you the most effective tools for your ongoing success. All my best, Christian Pyrros, Senior Mentor & Coach at elevanation.com