Have you ever been tongue-tied in the middle of a conversation? Maybe, you’re too shy to start a chat or too aggressive to express what you feel. People are complaining! And you’re trying to find ways for better communication. No worries! We have the golden secrets to fix what you need to for better communication.
“People understand each other by speaking, animals do it by sniffing.” By speaking, you become able to express yourself, to solve problems. Yet most of the communication is body language and “energetics”, and this starts with being comfortable in your own skin. How does this work? Super easy!
Let’s get started:
1. Self Check-in
Yes, the first step is you. How do you feel right now? Are you happy or nervous? If you are feeling bad, you have to pull yourself together. Here is a small guide on how you can do a self-check-in and also manage your stress levels.
Because it’s not possible to have better communication when other bad emotions are bothering you. Okay, a few deep breaths might be a good start. Breathe and stay in the present moment. We don’t live in the past or the future. Forget what happened in the past, postpone the plans for the future to focus on communication. If you think about the past or future, you’re not able to check in with yourself in the present moment. Be with yourself right now.
Focus on being here RIGHT NOW in the present moment.
You’re here now, you’re processing your feelings and thoughts in a constructive way.
Is there anything you need right now?
Then come back to a clear, neutral, and happy state.
Why is timing so important to have better communication? Because timing has a huge influence on the quality of the conversation. Imagine, you have to talk to your boss about some meeting details, but you just called them late at night. Do you think it’s an appropriate time to talk about work?
Your chance to get a response is low, and it won’t be the same when you text in the morning or during the day.
You have to understand how to use timing to your advantage. Don’t forget, waiting for the right moment is a better option than rushing everything!
3. Body language
Ah, how easy to ruin a conversation with a simple body language mistake… In communication, 9% is words and the other 91% is tonality and body language. Most people just don’t pay attention to their own body language. But as a first impression: gestures, mannerisms, and postures talk before your mouth and all your physical behaviors are part of it.
Saying “Everything’s fine.” with a sad face doesn’t express the true meaning. To have better communications, you have to use all the elements correctly. Be confident! Straighten your back, and show positive emotions with your posture.
Go for a walk before important meetings. Notice a good posture. Imagine your talk going well.
Also learn the “doorway drill”. Each time you walk into a room, mentally note to check your body posture and facial expressions. Straighten up! Show a good face to yourself and the people you are around.
Okay, we all know a conversation consists of a minimum of two people, and for better communication, listening fully is crucial. When you listen to the other person attentively, the other person will feel respected and understand that you care about this relationship and your communication with them.
People don’t tend to remember words, the way you treat them is so much more memorable. This leaves them with a feeling about you, which lasts much longer than any words you might have said. And nobody is willing to keep communication for the long term if you make them feel insignificant, eh?
5. Reflect & Confirm
After listening to them carefully, the last step is to reflect and confirm. Especially after a long monologue, repeat a brief 3-5 word summary of what the other person said, in an honest way. This shows you listen and care about the conversation and the person.
Make sure to confirm the material part of the conversation. If your boss says, “Please send me this report every Friday”, if you reply with something like “I got it!”, this is useless confirmation. You have to verify the material part of the statement or conversation. To verify, “You’ll get the reports every Friday.”
Sometimes even saying “Yes!” or nodding your head will be enough. Show energy and willingness and the desire to have better communication, and be there fully with the person. According to the person that you’re talking with, arrange the way you speak, yet always have a calm conversation no matter who you’re talking with.
Now you have all the steps to have better communication. All you need is to read them carefully and apply them to your conversations with a little practice every day.
It can take some practice, but don’t worry! You have the capability to achieve it like you achieved many things before.
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Wishing you better, great, and powerful conversations!